The Hamilton Practice

FAQs  re  Play  Therapy

At  The  Hamilton  Practice​ ​
 

Why do you specialize in play therapy and parent coaching?

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So often, nothing is truly "wrong" with a child who is struggling.  Nothing makes me happier than witnessing

the palpable relief both children and parents experience once they begin working with The Hamilton Practice.

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What should I tell my child before their first appointment?  

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Just tell your child you have something special planned for them and get them to my front door!

Then sit back, relax, and let them fill in the blank...

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Your child's intuition will answer their questions better than anything you can say.

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One mom reminded her 4-year-old of his next appointment, and he lit up: I know… for my NINJA training!   

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A 10-year-old after a few sessions looked at me and said: You know?  I know  why kids come here...

it's to play with someone calmer than they are so they can have fun and spread out all their feelings… ​​​

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How long does it take before my child starts to feel better?

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Many parents and teachers begin to notice the child experiencing relief from their symptoms in just a few weeks, especially when it comes to separation anxiety, physical aggression, or selective mutism.

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One father, whose 4 year old daughter had a rare genetic condition, shared her teacher's stunned reaction

after just three sessions:  "You don't understand.  This is a different child. She is SMILING!

 

When marveling at the rapid progress of her 4 year old son, one mom's admission happily startled me: 

Oh yeah.  He totally stopped hitting us as soon as you started working with him!

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How young is too young for play therapy?  My child doesn't talk much yet.

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No worries!  This may be the one place that young children will never be told to use their words.  

The Hamilton Practice is unique in specializing in play therapy for ages 2 and up.   

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Your child can be pre-verbal and still achieve lasting breakthroughs over the course of a few months. 

   

 

How much success have you had doing play therapy with children under the age of 5?​

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From 2013 to 2018, I worked with the NYC Department of Education, providing play therapy at Bank Street,

The Jewish Community Project, and preschools in Tribeca and Chinatown.

At first I was an outsider in Chinatown, but the staff paid such close attention to the children that once the breakthroughs started happening, they got the parents on board and became my biggest fans!​

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Where will I be while the session takes place?  

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When you arrive, we'll go upstairs together, and I'll invite your child to come with me into a special room

that's just for kids.  While you sit on a nearby sofa, you'll be separated by a velvet curtain---so your child

can peek at you at any time. 

 

Sessions can last as long as 45 minutes and end on the dot. 

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Children can be noisy as they like during their session and some enjoy pushing the envelope. 

What if I need to work, take a call, or even nap while you meet with my child?

 

The Parent Sanctuary, a clutter-free room down the hall, includes a nap friendly sofa, air desk, and an

armchair with a view of the skyline as well as museum masterpieces on a Samsung Frame tv.​​​​ 

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As per neuroscientist Andrew Huberman's recommendations, one or two small, oxytocin-inducing lap dogs

can be furnished on request.

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What if my child doesn't want to leave me to go into the playroom? 

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There is never any pressure on your child.  They can stay with you as long as they want. 

 

Drawing on the power of The Invisible String by Patrice Karst, I offer a cord long enough to reach from your heart (or in this case... hand or ankle) to your child when they are ready to enter the play space. 

 

If they tug on it, you can give them a reassuring tug back!

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What if my child realizes they want to come back to me before the time is up?

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No worries.  It's quality not quantity.  They can go back out to you at any time, but after learning

that once they step outside the door then the time is up for the day, most children opt to milk

every last second.

 

 

Won't my child be reluctant to skip off into another the room with an adult they have just met?

 

I try to prepare parents for the lack of resistance, but one brave dad admitted that he still found it

a bit unnerving when, just seconds after meeting me, his usually cautious son made a beeline for

the play therapy space and never looked back.

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After staying in the room with me for a full 45 minutes, a 3 year old boy who suffered from separation anxiety , had only one question for his mom after his first session:  Can we stay here... forever?

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How do you prepare children to transition from the magic of the play therapy space back to the outside world?

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Children are told:  We have 5 minutes left to play... We have 1 minute left to play... then a timer on my watch

goes off, and in a firm voice, I announce: THE TIME IS UP.   

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With the simple press of a button, children silence the offender as they walk out the door. ​​ 

 

All it takes is an old school Casio watch with a countdown timer!  ​​​​

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Sounds too good to be true.  What's the catch? 

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Children have strong feelings about the time limit, i.e. they may struggle with the session ending. 

At first you may need to actively reflect their wish to stay longer, while still getting them out the front door.     ​

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On the other hand, never underestimate the formidable will power of a young child! 

 

After the shock of his first session ending on the dot, a 4 year old boy with a history of medical trauma opted to end the next 10 sessions on his own terms, literally ejecting himself mid-play right after the 1 minute warning!

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Which is better for my child?  Individual play therapy or a group of two with another child in your practice?

 

 A group of two is like leveling up. 

 

When your child is ready, adding a plus 1 provides more opportunities for collaboration and conflict resolution.

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The teachers quickly figured out, whenever I was mandated to see a child in a group of two, that it worked like

putting miracle gro on both children, creating some amusing competition over which student would be my 

child's plus one.

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How did you get into play therapy?

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In 1995, my mom signed up for a five-day training in CCPT at the Cape Cod Institute.  At the last minute--

There are NO coincidences, only situations in which God chooses to remain anonymous--I decided to join her!

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We had the privilege of training with the legendary Dr. Louise Guerney whose groundbreaking work with CCPT and  Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT) inspired us to co-found The Hamilton Practice.

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Where did you grow up?

I was born and raised in Manhattan and graduated from The Spence School. 

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Where is your play therapy space located?

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In the Heights section of Jersey City, just two blocks from the 9th Street Light Rail elevator.

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How did you become bilingual?

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After graduating from Haverford College, I worked as a nurse’s assistant in the Spanish summer immersion program at Concordia Language Villages, where I was given the name Carina.

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I went on to become the only Spanish-speaking social worker at Northside Center for Child Development for

the next 7 years.  I used every waking minute to expand my Spanish vocabulary by speaking with taxi drivers and asking administrative staff any questions I had regarding last night's telenovela!  

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My Puerto Rican, Dominican, Cuban, Central and South American families welcomed me with open arms and enjoyed educating me about the nuances of their culture.  I'll never forget one client's laughter when I finally asked:  But who is Foulana?!

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Cary's FRIENDS:

Healing Movies, Series, and Books​​

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Just for fun...

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• The Holes in Your Nose by Yagyu and Stinchecum 

• Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi 

• The Gas We Pass by Shinto Cho

• If You Give A Mouse A Cookie by Laura Numerroff

• ​The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs by Jon Scieszka

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Nothing is Stronger than Love​

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• The Invisible String Book by Patrice Karst

• The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown

• Le Petit Prince by Antoine de St. Exupery

• Babar & Zephir by Jean de Brunhoff 

• The Boy, the Mole, the Fox,and the Horse by Charles Mackesy

• Finding Dory, 2016​​​

• Coco​, 2017

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When Your Child Pushes You Away...

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• Eighth grade [Film].  Directed by Bo Burnham (2018). A24.

• Distrito Salvaje. [Series]. Dynamo.  2018-2019.  Netflix.  

• The Kids Are Alright [Film]. Directed by  Lisa Cholodenko.  2010.  Netflix.  ​​​

• Terms of Endearment. [Film].Directed by James L. Brooks, Paramount Pictures, 1983. 

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The Many Faces of Loss

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• Loss of A Parent 

  • Ponette. [Film]. Directed by Jacques Doillon, Kino Classics, 1996.A​

  • ​​Six Feet Under (HBO). (2001, June 3) 

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• Loss of a Sibling

  • Ordinary People. [Film].Directed by Robert Redford. 1980. Paramount Pictures. 

  • The Afterlife of Billy Fingers by Annie Kagan​

  • Six Feet Under (HBO). (2001, June 3) 

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• Loss of a Spouse

  • Away from Her. [Film].Directed by Sarah Polley, Lions Gate Films, 2006​

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Worth Their Weight In Gold... 

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• Complex PTSD, From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

• Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman

• Ethnicity & Family Therapy by Monica McGoldrick

• Genograms in Family Assessment by Monica McGoldrick

• Play in Family Therapy by Eliana Gil

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Libros Extraordinarios 

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• La Vida Breve y Maravillosa de Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz

• Miami y Mis Mil Muertes by Carlos Eire

• Cien Años de Soledad by Gabriel García Márquez

• Crónica de Una Muerte Anunciada by Gabriel García Márquez​​​​

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